Friends for a Reason, Season or Lifetime


They say that you have friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
What happens when the person you considered to be one of your best friends who you thought would be there for a lifetime changes to be a friend for a season?
Do you attempt to hold onto that friendship and almost force it to be what it once was? Did you evaluate how that person makes you feel and adjust accordingly? Do you mourn the loss of that friendship?

I have one such friend.

We seemed to be the best of friends for about 16 years. Even though she was married with a child and I have been single, we have been quite close. Yet, in the last year or two, I have felt that we have been grown apart. She raves about going to lunch with other friends, but won’t make plans to go to lunch with me, even for my birthday or hers. Her responses to communication are limited and do not take into consideration me and my circumstances. When I see her in person, now, her responses are almost accusatory that I don’t respond to her needs. But, my needs have not been met for a couple years.

I spent a little time trying to analyze what went wrong and if there is somewhere I made an error. I may have, but I have not been told what that is. Sometimes you have to decide to just move on and let go. There are many people who treat me with love and respect. I choose to spend time and energy towards what I want … my loving friends.

There are the friends who live far away, yet, when we talk it’s like we’re next-door. And there are the friends who I feel I don’t know that well, but they step up to the plate to help out or support me when I need aide.

When someone is released from your life, someone else will show up to fill that void. The universe doesn’t allow for empty space.

There is also the energetic awareness that when you vibrate at a higher level, the people that you know at a lower level will drop away. This also means that you will be attracting new and higher vibration people. Consider releasing those who no longer bring you up. It does not mean that you are abandoning them. You just spend as much effort on them as they spend on you. If they want to be in your life, they will level up. If not, just wish them well.

I choose to believe in love.


I choose to believe in love. I appreciate people who stand up for what they believe in. That is quite honorable. People can demonstrate and march peacefully. Yet, I have friends who went to the Women’s March. They were proud to show people showing signs that said “Hate Trump.”
These people profess to be big Law of Attraction people. Yet, when you believe in the LOA, you believe that what you focus on, you attract more of.
Bob Proctor stated that, “What you think about, you bring about.” Proverbs 23:7 states, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Even Buddha said, “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.”

Do they really want to attract more hate?
Do they not understand that they could keep Trump in the limelight more by this?
By focusing on something other than love, they will not be inviting love into their lives. They will get the opposite.

It seems that if they really wanted to get rid of Trump, they should just work on finding a candidate that will win against him, or join the movement to impeach him.
And then they seem to see me as the enemy because I am not protesting or marching with them. I just don’t have the time to waste on a hostile environment with people not focused on love. How much of my time do I need to put into things that are not meaningful for me just to be friends with them? None. Yet, it seems like if I don’t have the exact same beliefs and causes, I am just not one of them. I guess seems that even though I am in one area of life with them, because I don’t have the same political mindset, I am left out.

On this day, Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday celebration, I was called to the phrases that he stated, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that,” and “Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.”

Then there is Mother Theresa’s quote, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.”

I learned long ago that if I see someone doing something I don’t like, I pray for them to have what I feel they lack. If I don’t like the people in government, I pray for them to have more love, common sense and sound principles.

My choice is to focus on love.

When Life Happens.

When Life Challenges Happen?

Life is not always easy breezy. Sometimes, it can be downright challenging.

Commitments

We have family commitments, work commitments, health commitments, religious/spiritual practice, commitments, home commitments, social commitments, friendship commitments, spousal commitments, charitable commitments, volunteer commitments, social media time and of course, “Me time.”
You may be able to define more.
How do you balance it all?
Do you attempt to balance it all?

Prioritizing

In reality, you cannot do everything (at once.) Multi-tasking has been found to get very little done. Although it seems like a wonderful concept, it causes poor quality in what is being done while multi-tasking. Focus creates success. You need to figure out which area of your life has the highest priority. Rate each area of your life. Adjust your schedule accordingly.

There are times in life where work takes priority. Then family may take a higher priority. Then you may need to focus on health. At some point you will want to feel more connected to friends, God/Source/the Universe or altruistic work.

You must keep a minimum in certain areas such as health, family, home and work. Some of the other areas get put on the back burner. This can leave you feeling like you are missing out.

If you decide upon your goals in each area of your life and have those prioritized, you can schedule the high priority items to make sure they get done each day. When you start to feel like there is an area that needs more attention, you can schedule those things into your day.

The Unexpected

But be prepared, life happens.
Things come up in life. Accidents happen. Feelings get hurt.
Make sure that you have a person or people in your life to contact when circumstances happen. If you have support people, you will be able to navigate the challenges of life with more grace and ease. Not because they do things for you, but they may be able to give you a different view of what you are going through. I have key people in different areas of my life. Those key people in those areas allow me to work through any perceived or real challenges.

Consider that if somethings happens in your life, it is to your benefit. Have the mindset that ‘everything always works out for my best interest.’ I believe that there is something to learn in any situation. Instead of asking yourself “Why is this happening to me?” Ask yourself, “What is this teaching me?” or “What can I learn from this?” If you cannot figure it out, have the quiet expections of wondering what wonderful blessings will be coming your way.

If your life seems to turn upside down or just when challenges come your way, ask yourself “How do I want this story to end?” Although it may not be pleasant at times, keep looking for the path to the best possible resolution of the challenge. Find the one that you want the most. Take the steps to get there, and then, keep it up until you get there! You may or may not get the top result, but you will be closer than not having the plan. You can be your own hero!

What is Your Goal?

What is your fitness goal for the year?
For 2018, my goal was to ride my bicycle on every street in Rancho Palos Verdes, my hometown.

I finished cycling all the streets in Rancho Palos Verdes fairly early in the year. I moved on to Palos Verdes Estates and finished those. In both of those cities, I don’t think there’s one flat street. It’s all Hills. What a wonderful workout. Some of the streets were rather challenging, yet, I was able to ride up or down every street. I didn’t ride both directions on every street unless it was a dead end. I also rode most of the streets in Rolling Hills Estates.

I have been keeping track of my progress numerous ways: using technology and two old fashioned maps. I wear a Garmin Forerunner to keep track of where I have been as well as using MapMyRide on my iPhone. They show me on a map where I have been. The Garmin uploads to Strava where I purchased the yearly plan because it will make a “Heat Map” of where I have been. I have also kept track on two maps of the Palos Verdes Peninsula, marking the streets I finished with a red Sharpie.

I still have two closed/gated neighborhoods left to do as well as the entire City of Rolling Hills. Rolling Hills has a No Cycling law, but I do see people cycling back there. I was told that it is likely residents of the City. My understanding of California Vehicle Code is that all Rules of the Road MUST be the same in the entire state of California. This means that cyclists must be allowed. I may have to wait until 2019 to get those in, but I do plan on cycling on those. Some of the streets and Rolling Hills are very steep very curvy and narrow. I would likely have someone follow me in my car when I do these for safety because people in Rolling Hills will likely not be expecting a cyclist to be on their roads.

It’s not that I can ride every day. I am caregiving for both of my parents. My father is 96 he has macular degeneration and he can barely walk with a walker. He is a very sound mind and can ruminate or worry too much. My mother is 89 and starting to feel very old. She just retired from her volunteer job and feel she needs to stay home to take care of my father. She may be showing signs of Dementia. I am doing as much as I can, although we do not see each other without clothes on. There are many times especially in the mornings where I feel that I need to be there to make sure they both get up and get moving.

I do miss my times cycling with my PV Bike Chicks friends, but many times it’s easier to jump on my older bike on the trainer and get a good hard workout done. On the days that I get outdoors, I have been working towards my goal. I still have two closed/gated neighborhoods left to do as well as the entire City of Rolling Hills which is also gated. Rolling Hills has a No Cycling law, but I do see people cycling back there. I was told that it is likely residents of the City. My understanding of California Vehicle Code is that all Rules of the Road MUST be the same in the entire state of California. This means that cyclists must be allowed. I may have to wait until 2019 to get those in, but I do plan on cycling on those. Some of the streets and Rolling Hills are very steep very curvy and narrow. I would likely have someone follow me in my car when I do these for safety because people in Rolling Hills will likely not be expecting a cyclist to be on their roads.
I do not drive on people’s private driveways. I have my goal, but I respect others.

You would think that after all of this riding would have lost weight. Not so much. But actually I only rode my bike from 30 minutes to 2 hours a couple days a week. I have to say it was interesting seeing all these little streets that I never knew existed. And I got to meet some awesome homeowners along the way, especially where I parked my car. I did see a sheriff’s car a couple times. I informed them what I was doing each time so that they didn’t think that I was casing out a house or neighborhood.

I got to see a lot of wildlife and horses there. On a couple streets, I saw over 40 peacocks and peahens. A couple of the people in these neighborhoods love peacocks and feed them. Most of the people don’t want them there. They make a mess and they are loud, but they are beautiful.

The most beautiful thing about riding my bicycle over Palos Verdes is the beautiful views. You have use of Catalina and the hills, you have use of the entire San Pedro harbor all the way to from San Clemente all the way up to the Hollywood sign, and from the other side of the hill you have use of Redondo Beach all the way up to point Dume and throughout Los Angeles. It is breathtaking. Especially when you’re on the bike riding uphill looking at it. As I use MapMyRide, I take a picture with the beautiful scenery for every ride.

What is your goal for the next year? Is it big enough to excite you? Is it small enough that you think you’ll get it? If it is both, the it is in the sweet spot. You will likely make it happen! But what happens if you get your goal too early in the year? Are you done? Or do you expand the goal? Do you expand it like I did to other cities in the area? What do you want?

Map showing streets I cycled in 2018!

’Twas The Day After Christmas

‘Twas the day after Christmas
and all through the house,
no one was stirring
except for the mouse

for he found the crumbs
that were left on the floor,
and in the sink
dirty dishes galore

the kids were playing
with their new toys
while shoppers braved stores
looking for discounted Joys

Some returned gifts
all through the mall
People were everywhere
From wall to wall

the mess from the gifts
left under the tree
will stay there ’til later
when recycled with glee

Those left at the house
got moving midday
looking for brunch
in a food coma way

Momma asked “how did our Christmas
end up like this
knowing quality time
is the way to my bliss?

the kids are gone playing
and the grand babies too
Don’t they want to spend time
with me and you?

Papa replied
sweetly and mild
knowing precisely
her love language style

“I sent them away
with all of their stuff
Because I want you for myself
I just can’t get enough.

come hold my hand
my beautiful wife
I will hold you at Christmas
for the rest of your life

Herein lies my
message to you
Only my suggestion
on what you might do

Keep the Spirit of Christmas
Throughout the year
Take care of yourself
and your loved ones with Joy & Cheer.

– © Kim M. White

Get Rid Of Your Monkey Mind

What is monkey mind?
That is when you remind takes a negative spin and goes down the rabbit hole of possible negative outcomes.

How do you know you are in monkey mind?
You are thinking negatively. You are not thinking in the present and you do not feel good. You could be thinking about the past usually about your errors or failures. Or you could be thinking about your fears for the future and playing the what if scenario. FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. The What-if scenario is when you are wondering what if this happens or what if that happens.

What do I do about it?
1. Tell your mind to “cancel cancel,” then change the channel. Because the mind always wants to be full, once you cancel the negative program going on in your mind, you then need to fill that space with a positive stock or affirmation. Such as I am an intelligent person.

2. Actually look at the real worst case scenario. Plan in case that happens, what will I do, how will I handle this and who can help/assist me. What is the best case scenario? Pray to God/Source/the universe to learn the lesson with grace and ease. I call it, plan for the worst but hope for the best.

3. Instead of asking why is this happening to me? Ask what blesses is this challenge or opportunity giving me? I have found when I look for the lessons I usually find them. When I have learned a lesson come the challenge is complete and it goes away. Sometimes it will come back to see if you have really learned a lesson, but if you really have, it will not be a big deal the next time.

4. Always, ask yourself “What do I want?” If you do not know what you want you will be drifting through life at the whim of whoever or whatever pushes your buttons. But when you know what you want then you have a goal to aim for and you can take the steps to get there. My mentor told me that all day, every day you should be asking yourself “What do I want?”

To Say Yes or No

Do you feel burnt-out and overwhelmed? You could be doing too much. There was a movement years ago telling people to say “Yes” to everything and just figure it out later. I attempted to do that. I had a lot of fun along the way. Yet, two things happened: it lead me to feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I ‘had’ to do; and, I used up a lot of money that could have been better spent. Now, I use discernment to find wellness and things that bring me joy.

There are so many wonderful opportunities out there, especially with the awesome people I know. I would love to be able to do all of them and support all of my friends. Then, when I wanted people to support me and my business, they did not reciprocate. I found that if I really use my intuition and discernment and learn to say “No” to those opportunities that did not serve me, then I was able to use my energy to focus on those things that increased my value or the value of my company therefore increasing my Feeling Good.

I have found that if I define what I want in four areas of my life with two sub-categories each, I can make choices that serve me better. Areas of Life:

Health: General Health (the optimal blood chemistry levels & absence of dis-ease) and Fitness

Wealth: Money and Career

Love: Intimate relationship/Spouse/Partner and Friendships

Happiness: General Happiness with life and Spirituality (relationship to God/Source/the Universe)

When I define what I want in each of these areas, I begin to understand where I have areas that are out of balance in my life. Consider defining what you want in each area. Then prioritize the things that will bring you more joy. When I define which areas are more important and make them a higher priority, I find wellness in my life.

Focus Creates Success.

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